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As a bonus, it would probably taste absolutely vile and make me throw up all those chocolate fingers. Alix was reading that ad. "You're not actually going to do this, are you? " I was examining my nails, which should have cheered me up, since I hadn't broken any for ages. Still, when they got to this stage I could practically guarantee that at least two would part with their French-manicured tips in the next two days. "She gave me a load of emotional blackmail about being ashamed of them, made an excuse about being busy, and hung up.

This was not so that Kit could behold my near-lifeless form and be seized with remorse: dear me, no. I saw myself in intensive care, where Jocasta would be in charge of the drips and I'd die on purpose, just to get her into trouble. If Belinda hadn't been occupying our cupboard at the time, my loving mother would never have known the extent of my misery. " Which naturally resulted in worried maternal phone calls every other day, to check that any overdoses were only of the Nutella variety. " etc.

In fact, I could almost have written a learned paper on Emotional Blackmail, Maternal Variety of. Well before phoning home an hour and a half previously I'd been psyching myself up for a hefty dose of precisely that. " "Oh, Sophy, really. I knew you'd let me down again, just when everybody's dying to meet him. " "I really can't promise. " At this point her voice had taken on a plaintive note. " "Well, I can't help wondering, dear. Every single time you've promised to bring him home, something's cropped up at the last minute.

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